Never Divorce Your Husband

One 75 years old lady came to see me. She had a right knee problem.

Never can I thank my father

I asked her, “How is the relationship with your father?”

She said, “Fine. We had a very cordial relationship”

“There is no thanks in your heart for him. Can you thank him? Think about all that he had done to you. Thank him for the same”.

She became silent and curtly went off. After about one week, she phoned up to me. “As I came with my son-in-law last time, I could not tell you anything in front of him. To tell the truth, I am not able to thank my father”.

A promise that resulted in suffering


 “Only because of him I suffered all my life”.

Her father showed her a boy when she was to be married and told her that she had to marry him. She agreed to her father. On the date of marriage he came and asked her, “Give me a promise. Whatever happens in your life you would not divorce this boy”.  She gave a promise to her father that she would not divorce him at any cost.

Her marriage was an abusive affair

From the date of marriage, her husband had been physically abusing her. It was a total harassment. She got two children through him and they are well placed now. Because she gave a promise to her father, she did not divorce her husband. All along she had been cursing her father for the same reasons.

She said, “I am a free bird now after my husband’s death. I can neither forgive my husband nor my father”.

Positives in the sufferings

I asked her, “In spite of all these bad events there must be at least one positive event in your life. Only for that purpose you have suffered in your life”.

She is a staunch devotee of Puttaparthi Sai Baba. When her marriage failed, she wanted a spiritual asylum. Therefore, she went to Baba. She composed and sang many songs on gods like Devi, and about Baba. She was also allotted a house there in Puttaparthi.

She had a great spiritual progress. Throughout the day, she was singing only Bhajans. Her life was totally changed to spirituality and she lived a life of an ascetic.

I asked her, “Is this not a positive point? I think only for this aspect your husband behaved like that. If the suffering was not there then you would have lived an ordinary life. We say, Atmavan Bhava, which means ‘I am not the doer’. Like that your husband is also not the doer. When we say we are not the doers, the opposite person is also not the doer”.

When she understood that Divine is the doer, automatically she started forgiving and she is free from her knee pain now.

About NaranTeam

Naran balakumar is a herbalist practising bach flower therapy for the last 11 years. Naran is a Reiki master teacher.

Posted on December 16, 2012, in Mantra, Mind-Body Intelligence and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Hi sir,
    Very nice post.but i have a doubt in mind,In my case me and my husband got married 3 years back.He said he loved me and asked my father for our marriage my father agreed(i also liked him )but his parents were not ready for this(still they keep torturing me for the same)at the time of our marriage he was engaged to one girl forcefully by his parents.that girl use to torture him and dominate him for every thing.We were friends at that time he realised his love for me and approached my father for the same.

    but after marriage everything changed,his parents tortured us though we are not staying together.he never loved me the way a husband loves his wife.not even for the initial few days.till date he has not said any thing good to me,no intimacy between us since we got married.i never got emotional and physical love,which every girl dreams of when she is about to get married.i asked him to go to a doctor many times,but he never excepted he has any problems.i have cried a lot in front of him,but he laughs,how can he laugh when iam crying if he said he loved me.this had been happening right from the start.iam frustrated,now i get a feeling he is not right person for me,last three weeks iam crying telling him how i feel,on which he has a answer i don’t know why i behave like this, cant he see my pain.Also he is very selfish he only think of himself.he does not give me any respect.iam angry and frustrated iam 32 years old waiting for my husband to love me,i don’t have time as i want a baby also,but before that i want a good love caring if i feel i should divorce him am i i feeling wrong.also don’t i deserve love and physical intimacy from my husband,am i asking too much.

    he says do whatever u feel is right if u feel u should divorce me go ahead and do it.why did he marry me.i feel just to get rid of that previous girl,as iam understanding i don’t nag him for anything,

    what should i do should i divorce him,will i have a good life.please help me.


    • aarti
      Most of the times, women suffer much at the hands of husbands.
      Take the flower remedy Agrimony sweetchestnut two pills three times a day.

      • Namaskar Naran ji,

        Iam replying so late,many things happened in my husband sent me home,saying he needs time to think where he is going wrong.i was happy that atleast he is thinking about this relationship.but it was a lie.he said he wants to divorce me.i was in depression for 2 months then i came back i started working( salary is not too much but i can survive),i dont want a divorce but he is enjoying his life with his friends,he said he has a special friend also,i dont know what to do,please guide me.i want a soulmate,he showed me he is the one before marring and changed after marriage,now he wants to leave me,please help me so that he would realise his mistake,and we start over again,he should remove this though of divorcing me from his mind.please help.



  2. Hello Mr. Naran.

    On some occasions it feels appropriate to say ‘I’m not the doer’. But the problem is in understanding the following-

    When people perform crimes like murder, rape, many other brutal things – How can one be able to digest the fact that -” I am not the doer and it is the Divine”?
    Thanks in advance for your inputs.

  3. Userone
    do not judge others’ actions.

  4. My marriage ended emotionaly as he never loved me and his son on other side he care for me which confus’d me lots whenever i remember hm… and always he listen to his mother it was our love margae ..she didnt like nor his famly..he left me alone after divorce soon he got married.. I loved him very much and my father who financialy troubled my mom and my family took unwanted loans from everyone where i creatd a negative feeling for hm..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: