One 75 years old lady came to see me. She had a right knee problem.
Never can I thank my father
I asked her, “How is the relationship with your father?”
She said, “Fine. We had a very cordial relationship”
“There is no thanks in your heart for him. Can you thank him? Think about all that he had done to you. Thank him for the same”.
She became silent and curtly went off. After about one week, she phoned up to me. “As I came with my son-in-law last time, I could not tell you anything in front of him. To tell the truth, I am not able to thank my father”.
A promise that resulted in suffering
“Only because of him I suffered all my life”.
Her father showed her a boy when she was to be married and told her that she had to marry him. She agreed to her father. On the date of marriage he came and asked her, “Give me a promise. Whatever happens in your life you would not divorce this boy”. She gave a promise to her father that she would not divorce him at any cost.
Her marriage was an abusive affair
From the date of marriage, her husband had been physically abusing her. It was a total harassment. She got two children through him and they are well placed now. Because she gave a promise to her father, she did not divorce her husband. All along she had been cursing her father for the same reasons.
She said, “I am a free bird now after my husband’s death. I can neither forgive my husband nor my father”.
Positives in the sufferings
I asked her, “In spite of all these bad events there must be at least one positive event in your life. Only for that purpose you have suffered in your life”.
She is a staunch devotee of Puttaparthi Sai Baba. When her marriage failed, she wanted a spiritual asylum. Therefore, she went to Baba. She composed and sang many songs on gods like Devi, and about Baba. She was also allotted a house there in Puttaparthi.
She had a great spiritual progress. Throughout the day, she was singing only Bhajans. Her life was totally changed to spirituality and she lived a life of an ascetic.
I asked her, “Is this not a positive point? I think only for this aspect your husband behaved like that. If the suffering was not there then you would have lived an ordinary life. We say, Atmavan Bhava, which means ‘I am not the doer’. Like that your husband is also not the doer. When we say we are not the doers, the opposite person is also not the doer”.
When she understood that Divine is the doer, automatically she started forgiving and she is free from her knee pain now.
Sometimes it can happen in the family that one can’t be in the position to support a person due to family circumstances.
A person aged 48 approached me for his lower back pain. The pain is more on the right side. After finding that there is no financial insecurity, no loan to repay and no job insecurity, I asked him a simple question whether he is not giving the required support to any elders in the family? It may be due to the circumstances. If you say “yes”, then keep in mind that the body wants you to give the needed care and protection to that person. If you take steps for that, your body will relieve you from the pain. To find the veracity of this, you can chant, “I willingly lend support to so and so”. If the pain starts reducing, then this is the mental cause, and you have to follow what you said. The message of the body is “do not create instability in others”.
Then he came out with the story. His father (widower) was taken care of by him and his three brothers, taking turns every three months. One son went on a business tour for a month and wants his brothers to take care of his father during that time. My patient was willing, but he could not take care of his father, because his spouse vehemently opposed it. Therefore, he said no to it, due to his lack of assertiveness and out of fear to go against his wife’s words. From the next day onwards, he developed back pain.
You may ask why his wife did not get back pain. That is not the matter here. If you get the pain, there is a message for you. Find the message and rectify your life.
A girl after she got married and moved to her husband’s house, very often she phoned up her mother asking for suggestions concerning how to handle her in-laws. In no way she could mingle with her in-laws. In addition, she will complain about them to her parents. She compared her husband’s actions with her father’s and pointed out the differences between them.
She developed a lower back pain. Lower back means place of support. There is no pain while sitting or lying. There is pain only while walking. The body says “you are secured here. By your behaviour don’t spoil your place in your new family. Adjust yourself to fit in here. This is your place of security.”
Soon after her marriage, the girl developed a feeling of being forsaken as she was away from her parents. She felt insecure and lonely without her father around. A sense of incapacity had set inside her. She was resisting changing and adjusting to the new environment and thus a new phase of her life.
One dose of Bach Flower Remedy Walnut and Chicory cured her pain. Within one month, she acclimatized to the new environment.
Change is the order of life. Accept it.
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Ignoring the advice of the parent could be a reason too for knee pain.
Ragu got a pain in the right knee. He forgot the promise made by him to his father. I asked him if there was an issue with his father because right knee points to father. He replied until his death they were good friends.
Has he forgotten any promise made to his father? He remembered about the promise he made to his father before the latter died. He requested his son to do his cremation at Badrinath. Ragu agreed to do it.
After his Dad died at the age of 70, Ragu decided to do it, after the 13-day ceremony. But the Priest told him to do it after one year. He forgot to do it. After 10 years, he had got a pain in the right knee – reminding him about that.
Gave him flower remedies – Rock Water and Walnut. Subsequently his pain subsided.
I asked him to go to Badrinath now. He booked a train. Then, he got into the train. As soon as the train started, his pain was gone. Until then body didn’t trust him. Because train has started he will be going to Badrinath.
His body’s watching him every minute. It’s so intelligent.
Treatment is different. Healing is different. Think about the life issue and resolve it.