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Never Divorce Your Husband

One 75 years old lady came to see me. She had a right knee problem.

Never can I thank my father

I asked her, “How is the relationship with your father?”

She said, “Fine. We had a very cordial relationship”

“There is no thanks in your heart for him. Can you thank him? Think about all that he had done to you. Thank him for the same”.

She became silent and curtly went off. After about one week, she phoned up to me. “As I came with my son-in-law last time, I could not tell you anything in front of him. To tell the truth, I am not able to thank my father”.

A promise that resulted in suffering


 “Only because of him I suffered all my life”.

Her father showed her a boy when she was to be married and told her that she had to marry him. She agreed to her father. On the date of marriage he came and asked her, “Give me a promise. Whatever happens in your life you would not divorce this boy”.  She gave a promise to her father that she would not divorce him at any cost.

Her marriage was an abusive affair

From the date of marriage, her husband had been physically abusing her. It was a total harassment. She got two children through him and they are well placed now. Because she gave a promise to her father, she did not divorce her husband. All along she had been cursing her father for the same reasons.

She said, “I am a free bird now after my husband’s death. I can neither forgive my husband nor my father”.

Positives in the sufferings

I asked her, “In spite of all these bad events there must be at least one positive event in your life. Only for that purpose you have suffered in your life”.

She is a staunch devotee of Puttaparthi Sai Baba. When her marriage failed, she wanted a spiritual asylum. Therefore, she went to Baba. She composed and sang many songs on gods like Devi, and about Baba. She was also allotted a house there in Puttaparthi.

She had a great spiritual progress. Throughout the day, she was singing only Bhajans. Her life was totally changed to spirituality and she lived a life of an ascetic.

I asked her, “Is this not a positive point? I think only for this aspect your husband behaved like that. If the suffering was not there then you would have lived an ordinary life. We say, Atmavan Bhava, which means ‘I am not the doer’. Like that your husband is also not the doer. When we say we are not the doers, the opposite person is also not the doer”.

When she understood that Divine is the doer, automatically she started forgiving and she is free from her knee pain now.


I follow my father’s footsteps

Knee is the guiding self – it’s the parents’ self. Only parents’ related issue will come in the knees. I might be repeating what my father had done or I might be lacking a resource that my father had. Your body reminds that to you through a pain in the knee.

Case History 1: Just 1% mismatch between Son and Father

Right knee refers to one’s relationship with father, while the left knee points to mother. 

A person had problem with his right knee. I asked him whether he had any issues with his father. He replied that “by all means everything is ok with my father. He is a role model for me. I follow him by the book.”

I asked him to tell me where he doesn’t follow his father. You might have followed him 99%. But one percent you may not have followed him. Find that out and follow that practice. Your father wants you to follow that too.

He replied there is one difference between them. While his father was close to his mother, he is not close to his wife.  I told him to take care of his wife and love her as his father did to his mother. Whatever be the circumstances, daily affirm within, “I totally accept and love my wife as she is” and implement it in practice. This is your father’s message through the right knee pain.

Please note here that not all sons who had thrown out his parents may get a pain in the right knee, while somebody might get it. It depends on their karma. Only when the pain comes, the issue should be addressed.

Case History 2: Postponement of Marriage

Girija’s father is no more. For one year I couldn’t figure out a solution. She took some remedies. She did an operation too. But nothing relieved her pain.

She loves a person and the latter loves her so much, that he wanted to marry her. But, she was postponing it. I asked her when her father did marry. He got married when he was 38 years old. But he died at the age of 40.

What’s the message here: get married earlier. You are already 31. You don’t want to end up like your father. Otherwise you may loose your husband or he might die earlier. Don’t repeat your father’s life.

Body guides us so beautifully!

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